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Ask Abigail - should I take my boyfriend back?

Should I take my boyfriend back?

The Question:

My ex broke up with me because he was 'dared' or more commonly known as peer pressured into doing it. i didnt talk or txt him for over a week when i decided to listen to him, some of the things he sent me said " i feel bad for what i did, can you ever forgive me?" at first i gave him a second chance but he had no idea what to do. i gave up on that and the pain that went along with it, until recently (this tuesday) he texted me "will you take me back?"

i know what my friends would say for advice and i dont want to hear it again i want to hear something different.

i dont know what to do, my mind says, "dont do it he is not worth it!!" and my heart says " do it you loved him"

what do i do?


Abigail’s Thoughts:

Dearest KE,

I know you wrote to me asking for advice about a boy and wanting advice on what you should do. Boys will come and go. And my feeling is this one will definitely go. However, something else I saw in your letter that stood out to me. It was interesting to me that you said you know what advice your friends would all give you, but that you wanted to hear something different. As a whole the closest people to us generally have a lot of great insight to give to us because they know us best. Sometimes they even see things that we can’t because we are entrenched in the circumstance. It sounds like your friends all think he isn’t good for you. That’s significant to me.

However, with that being said I understand that when it comes matters of the heart sometimes our heart has to catch up to our mind. Your friends may be continually telling you that they think you should leave him, but you might not be ready to let go. You have to reach your own conclusions so that you feel confident with the decision that you make. However with that said, sometimes it’s tough to let go of relationships (even if we know they aren’t the best for us) because we’re afraid. We are afraid to be alone. And frankly, sometimes it sucks for the first bit. But after that we realize that we are strong and resilient creatures. You will then be able to enter into a relationship with someone who may treat you better.

I think you wrote me because you were looking for an answer that would validate staying with him. However, I can’t do that. Listen to your friends. Express to them that you might not be able to let him go yet. Think about who you might be losing out on by staying with someone who may not be the best for you, and come to your own conclusion. You are smart, KE.

I hope that these words help comfort you, challenge you, and remind you that you aren’t alone.

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Email me: questions@askabigail.com

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Remember we can’t do it alone,


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